Making peace that passes 
through understanding

   To talk with Goran Matkovic, you’d never imagine he felt a need for finding better ways of communicating without violence. The soft-spoken computer repairman from Norcross quietly explained, “I do a lot of personal growth and exploration. Didn’t someone say an unexplored life is not a life worth living?”

   Matkovic is currently exploring the practices of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. ( www.marshallrosenberg.com )

   “I’ve met many lecturers and teachers with good ideas that may be interesting and inspiring, but few of them actually live what they preach. Marshal, in telling stories of his life – made me see he is fully immersed and involved in his teachings.”

   Rosenberg, a psychologist, experienced violence while growing up in a tough neighborhood. He wondered what made people violent and concluded that it stemmed poor communication. Convinced that effective communication must focus on meeting human needs rather than on making judgments, he developed a series of Nonviolent Communication workshops, which he conducts all over the world.

   Rosenberg really put his skills to the test in a Palestinian refugee camp. When he stood up to speak, an angry Palestinian screamed, "You murderer!" Rosenberg sensed that this man was venting his anger toward America at him personally. Instead of reacting defensively, Rosenberg used his NVC skills to connect with the man's deep feelings of frustration and his need to be heard. Almost instantly, the tension in the room was diffused and a productive conversation about difficult personal and political issues continued, with both sides sharing and listening. At the end of the evening the man who had yelled "Murderer" invited Marshall, a Jew, home to a Ramadan dinner. 

   “It’s all a matter of getting our needs met,” said Matkovic. “The main tool Rosenberg is teaching is empathy, which is listening and understanding the other person’s feelings and needs.”

   Many call Rosenberg a new visionary and say has taken up where Gandhi, King, and other past visionary leaders for peace left off. He has provided training and initiated peace programs in many war-torn areas including Rwanda, Nigeria, Sierra Leone, the Middle East, Serbia, Croatia, and Northern Ireland. 

   In Rosenberg’s workshops and in his book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, he offers insightful stories and practical exercises that help facilitate more peaceful communication, even if it’s just one interaction at a time.

   “And this is purely personal growth for you?” I asked. “There’s no way for you to apply it to your job?”

   “When I fix a broken computer, sometimes people take it out on me like it’s my fault. Maybe I can help people on a psychological level and not just a technical level.”

   The next NVC workshop will be Feb. 2, 3, 4 at the Crown Plaza Hotel at Perimeter Center. Info: www.ganvc.org or 770-493-6746.

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