The Wretchedness of Misery 
~ by James Banzer

   There are some people who are best left to themselves.

   You know them. Unless you are at a religious convent or seminary, you no doubt see them every day. These lost souls waddle in the negative. They have something bad to say about everything.

   You throw out a simple little greeting. You ask how they are doing. The best they can do is say "I'm here." They insist on sharing misery with everyone they meet. They are experts at finding complaints.

   If it's raining or snowing, these people ramble about the horrible day. If it's hot, they rattle on about how uncomfortable it is, never contributing to any thoughtful conversation. If it's cold, they focus exclusively on how the temperature is keeping them from being outside.

   If the weather is ideal, it does not matter. They still will find something that is negative to discuss.

   These are the people who refuse to see good in anything, and insist on seeing bad in everything. They talk about their illnesses, debts, divorces, arguments, sick pets and their own personal suffering, be it real or imagined. They are pity partiers.

   It's time to shut these people out of your life. It's not good for your own personal comfort level to hear such constant ranting.

   It's doubtful that anyone on earth is happy 100% of the time. Life has its ups and downs. However it's not wise to allow others to constantly project their moments of unhappiness on you.

   None of this is new. There once was a wise man from Syria named Publilius Syrus. He was brought to Italy as a slave. He spoke enduring words in the first century BC. This actor and philosopher stated, "It is a consolation to the wretched to have companions in misery." By his wit, he so impressed his master that he was freed. It's a pretty good bet that Publilius was a happy man.

   Those with the habit of wallowing in the negative may be beyond hope. On the other hand, they may just need some deep immersion in the positive. Who's going to do that? You!

   A little jolt here and there might help them along.

   There are times when it's appropriate to call them what they are. Refer to them as Mr. or Ms. Negative, and you will get their attention. Most likely, they will react in stunned silence. Perhaps it will get them thinking, and it could just help clear away some of the cobwebs.

   Try it. If that doesn't work, let these people go.

   Allow them to enjoy their own distress without your presence. Their loneliness could make them stop and wonder where all their friends have gone. There's no need to waste a lot of empathy on this kind of person.

   Search out the happy people. Find those with smiles on their faces. Find those who are doing good for others.

   They are the ones who are a joy to be around. They are likely to rub off on you. Soon, you will be smiling and looking for all the good around you.

   We become an extension of the people with whom we associate. Those who really matter create a synergy through their attitudes. Positive energy can rub off on you just as easily as the negative. Therefore, you had might as well seek out those with something bright to offer. They suffer hardships like everyone else, but somehow manage to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Association with these people makes us all better human beings.

   Discover the happy people, and remember to beware of who is seeking your attention. Those who roll in the mud of misery are always seeking out people who will listen to them. They are not looking for something to cheer them up, but rather something to make them more miserable. Misery does crave more of the same.

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After a long career in broadcast news, James Banzer is now writing on his observations about the world around us. He currently resides in Louisville, Kentucky. You may send him e-mail at jamesbanzer@yahoo.com.

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