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A Funny Thing Happen
On the Way to Adulthood
The other day, while on the way to my office, I was listening to the morning news on the radio. As you may well know, the news is not usually good news and this day was no different. The announcer was talking about one thing after another that led to a shooting, an assault, a murder, and a story about a shooting rampage at a school. We have heard these stories before, but on this morning all of the people who were responsible for the crimes were kids. Even for someone like me, having worked in the criminal justice field for many years, this news was unsettling.
Based on those stories, I began to wonder what keeps one kid from falling into a life of delinquency and allows so many others to literally drown in a life of crime that is not suited for an adult much less a kid. And as I thought about this, I wondered what it was that kept me out of trouble when I was a kid. Granted, my Dad who was a cop, would have beaten the tar out of me if I had started to venture down the wrong path, but I think it was much more than that. As much as I think my parents did a good job of raising my brother and me, their tactics were very simple. I’m sure that neither of them had read any of Dr. Spock’s books and my Dad is convinced that Dr. Phil is a big sissy. But, however they did it, they did it right. Neither my brother or I were ever arrested, neither of us own a tattoo or body piercing and as we approach the 50 mark, both of us still talk to our parents every day. Something that they did was right! As I think about it now, I believe I have figured it out.
First of all they were role models. They lived by the motto of do as I do and say as I say. No hypocrisy! They never asked us to do something that they didn’t already do. Today, many parents talk a good game to their kids, but still continue to act as kids themselves in many aspects of their lives. Secondly, we were very aware of the fact that for every action, there is a reaction. We did not have to be constantly reminded about the ramifications that we would face if we crossed the lines that had been drawn for us. We did not have to be reminded because on those occasions that we did step over the line, the ramifications chased us back to the other side. Remember the big leather belts that cops used to wear? My rear end was more familiar with that belt than my dad’s waist was. Today, rather than insisting that kids are held accountable, parents will work hard to get them out of trouble. There is very little incentive these days for kids not to get in trouble. When they do, the parents attack the teachers, the cops, the system, society and anyone else that could be blamed for the kid’s actions. And lastly, we were taught about respect. Respect for our elders, our teachers, the police, basic respect for others and most importantly, respect for our parents. Many kids these days have no idea what respect even means. Let’s face it, if they have no respect for their own parents, how can we honestly expect them to have respect for anything else.
Obviously, there are many kids today who excel, but there are many others who are in big trouble. At a time when they are afforded the best that life has ever had to offer from a monetary and materialistic point of view, they are fouling up in huge numbers. Some of our parents may need to worry a little less about being their kid’s best friend and start being their best parent.
My parents were not experts. But, they were very good at what they did. My dad had a favorite phrase that he took slight liberties in adding to. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but whatever you do, don’t do unto old Dad.” I think that he had it engraved in that old leather belt. Hey it worked for me!
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