Want a wife? Try acting like an animal

   March winds bring April showers. April showers bring May flowers. May flowers bring June brides. So they say. I think June brides come about as the result of a good pickup line. And sometimes that means using some animal instinct. Take Bruce Blasch of Lilburn for example. While other guys used standard lines like, “Haven’t we met before?” Bruce asked a pretty girl name Barb if she’d ever heard anyone call cows. Barb, a city girl from Chicago, said no. When he invited her to ride in his convertible out to the country, she was a bit suspicious, yet intrigued enough to say yes.

   “We stopped at a barnyard and I made a low sound in my throat. The steers started chasing us and broke through the fence,” Bruce said.

   “When I got back home and told my room mates, they were really impressed and said I should go out with him again,” Barb recalled.

   And then there’s Joy Patrick, a teacher’s aid at Meadowcreek Elementary School who was first attracted to her future husband, Craig Crumpton, while he was impersonating animals.

   Joy’s ears perked when she heard Craig talking like a cat—or was it a fish? — while he was reading Dr. Seuss in the school library. A teacher who belonged to a singles group with Craig at Campus Church of Christ invited Joy to a meeting.
“We played this game where you had to imitate animals and I couldn’t believe all the sounds he made,” said Joy. “A bunch of other guys were trying to impress me with intellectual stuff, but I thought Craig was one cool guy.”

   Crumpton can imitate anything including cows, Bill Clinton, Joy’s cat and even Joy’s mother. A gospel singer by profession, he’s featured on a CD and has sung the national anthem at a Braves game. But his favorite and most popular act is “Casey at the Bat” in 32 celebrity voices. (www.daybreakquartet.com)

   After placing as a finalist in a recent talent contest, Crumpton is now represented by Arlene Wilson Management for voiceovers and Elite Models & Talent for on-camera and live events. 

   But it was the animal in him that landed him a June bride. Craig proposed to Joy by singing “Close to You” like Kermit the Frog. They will marry on June 18 and I’m sure their relationship will always be as romantic as the Blasch’s. 

   After 41 years of marriage, Bruce still romances Barb with animal sounds. On a trip to Scotland Bruce whispered to Barb, “Do you want to hear me talk to cows in Scottish?”

   “I made my low sound and the cows broke through the fence. The next thing you know a farmer was chasing me with a pitchfork. It was like our first date.”
(OK, guys, if you’re just not the animal type, you still can’t go wrong by picking up a fresh bouquet of May flowers.)

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