What's the Matter with Kids Today? 
~ by James Banzer

   You must wonder what is going on with kids these days.
To those of us who grew up as long as five decades
ago, it at times almost appears that they are part of
a sub-human species. They look like young humanoids
from another world.

   Find one that walks that mile or more to school, and
then back again every day. Those kids just don't exist
any longer. That's not just a cliche coming from an
old fogie. Virtually all of today's pre-adults have
cars. They have gone soft, and today's teenagers think
it's a joke when we mention how things were back then.

   It's no laughing matter, kids. There were some of us
who were only able to get a ride to school when there
was a downpour, or a bad snowstorm. We wore out the
soles of our shoes. What's more, we didn't mind. That
was just the way it was.

   High school parking lots were for teachers. A few rich
kids had cars, but those who drove were few and far
between. The teenage drivers were the sons and
daughters of doctors and lawyers. Not many of us fit
that category.

   The absence of walking to school is not the most
blatant part of the problem with today's youth though.
Look at the way talk talk at this early point in the
twenty-first century. It's like, they like have to
like throw that word like around like it will like go
into disuse if it's not like used repetitively at
meaningless random intervals. Don't they know how
stupid that sounds? Apparently not.

   What about the fad phrases that pop up from time to
time? When someone makes a mistake, they blurt out "My
bad." What is that all about? Can't they just say, "I
made a mistake?" Nope. The brain is in neutral. Or,
should we say reverse?

   Look at the way kids dress. Start with the hair. Some
of them obviously spend endless hours spiking their
hair so that they look like porcupines on top. As if
that were not enough, the hair is dyed all kinds of
unnatural colors. It might be red today, purple
tomorrow, green the next day. It's okay with these
young ones, as long as it looks anything but natural.

   That's not all. Piercings are a necessity of life for
these young sub-humans. The boys wear earrings. Both
sexes must have pierced eyebrows, noses, lips and
tongues. It is said that they also pierce things under
their clothing. We won't go there.

   The teen girls and boys alike have gotten into one of
the strangest habits of all. It's called "wear your
pants so they look like they are going to fall off."
That may be the dumbest of all of the oddities that
have been taken up by our modern youth.

   Their pants are hanging so low that there is apparent
danger of tripping. It has to be a terribly
uncomfortable way to walk. Perish the thought of
having to run to escape a burning building. If you
watch these youngsters for awhile, you'll see them
repeatedly pulling up the jeans to make sure the
clothing doesn't hit the ground. The only saving grace
is that they are showing off their fashionable Tommy
Hilfiger underwear, rather than the butt cracks we are
used to seeing among construction workers.

   Then, there are the tattoos. The sailors of World War
II would have never guessed that this marking of the
body would come into general fashion six decades down
the road. It's too bad that young people going for
tattoos don't take the time to ask the few remaining
World War II sailors what they think about those young
and foolish decisions.

   Can we survive another half century of succeeding
generations conforming to increasing degrees of
non-conformity? Probably, but it could get pretty
ugly.

021405

 After a long career in broadcast news, James Banzer is now writing on his observations about the world around us. He currently resides in Louisville, Kentucky. You may send him e-mail at jamesbanzer@yahoo.com.


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