Let’s turn random acts of kindness 
into deliberate ones

    Remember the "Random acts of kindness" craze? People performed kind little acts for strangers, such as paying for the car behind them at the tollbooth. 

   I haven't heard that expression much lately. I don't know if people are still doing such things. But I'd like to propose a movement of my own called "deliberate acts of kindness." 

   For example, if you are in the first car waiting at a traffic light. When the light turns green, GO. When traffic lights are about a mile apart, it takes less than two minutes at the speed limit to travel between them. Some red lights last over two minutes, so having to stop for even one more than doubles the travelling time. Sitting through three quadruples it. A deliberate effort to allow as many cars as possible get through the light would make a brighter day for many drivers.

   Or how about if you're going to a party and are unsure of the directions. Why not make a deliberate effort to call the day before and NOT ten minutes before the party when the hostess is tending to last minute details? 

   Several deliberate acts of kindness could apply to e-mail. When you get a piece of Spam that's been forwarded fifty times, no matter how tear-jerking or tragic the story, check it out first at www.snopes.com. About ninety percent of these messages are hoaxes, misinterpretations or outdated information. Then if it's worth passing on, as a deliberate act of courtesy, delete all the prior e-mail addresses to which it had been sent. And if you send it on to more than one person, send blind carbon copies. There are two reasons for this. First, no one will have to bother scrolling three feet down the screen before they get to the message, and second, it protects the privacy of all recipients. One never knows where this e-mail will end up. It could land in the inbox of a professional spammer, who would love getting several hundred addresses to click into his or her address book.

   Sometimes the best use of words is to not use them. Sometimes a deliberate effort to say nothing can be the kindest act of all. Like when you see a middle-aged woman across the gym with a black and blue mark the size of a grapefruit on her thigh. No matter how much you care about her, making a deliberate effort NOT to yell across the room at the top of your lungs, "Hey, how did you get that humongous black-and-blue mark?" is the kindest thing to do.

   And how about you? Any deliberate acts of kindness you would like to see people perform? If you have suggestions you'd like to share, please make a deliberate effort to e-mail them to me for a follow-up column. (And I will make a deliberate effort to keep you anonymous if you wish.)


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