November 20, 2004
It seems like the printer should last as long as the clothes dryer. But, nope! My old HP snatched up a letterhead sheet of paper as I was printing off an envelope and that little trick gagged it to a sorry death. My new HP Deskjet 6540 is now in place. I looked through the Reference Guide to see just how I was supposed to do envelopes with this thing, but the manual completely skipped useful customer-friendly instructions like how to actually use this piece of office equipment. It provided everything else in English, French, and Spanish. It was pretty much totally useless. So, I checked the printer for a little envelope picture somewhere and like to never found it, as it is only a tiny slight indentation in the black plastic paper cover. A gnome would have spotted it immediately. There is a slit in this plastic cover, pointed to with a black arrow and a tiny black picture of an envelope. Once discovered, it seemed obvious what I was supposed to do. Well, when this didn't work, I phoned the help line. HP's customer assistance is a lot better than some of those infuriating phone loops that businesses think are helping customers and so, presently, I was speaking with an actual gentleman who probably lives in India, judging from his highly accented and determined English.
Now, I have spoken with lots of anal-retentive people in my life, but this guy took the absolute ten-layer cake. I only wanted to know how to do envelopes with my new printer, but he
refused to tell me until we had gone through a huge long checklist, item by item, that took about an hour. He would not be rushed nor would he allow a
shortcut. I now know how to do envelopes, finally, but have no idea what that slit is for. Mr. Anal probably just wants me to do envelopes the hard way and that slit probably involves something distasteful like, "fast and easy."
Carly Fiorina, chairman and CEO of Hewlett-Packard, needs to talk to Mr. Anal just once to see what her customers are getting. She'd loosen up his sphincter for him pretty quick, probably stretch it to Cleveland.
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On Monday, November 22, 2004, students from Rockbridge Elementary School will be visiting the High Museum of Art, 1280 Peachtree Street, in Atlanta, for the first time ever. Thanks to a very generous donation from UBS, the lead sponsor for the "Van Gogh to Mondrian" exhibition, 286 kids will get museum admission, lunch, and transportation costs covered so they can view over 20 paintings and drawings by Vincent van Gogh and by other modern masters as well, including Picasso, Seurat, and Mondrian. There are 84 works in this extraordinary exhibition from Holland's Kroller-Muller Museum.
If you would like to see this exhibition, too, call for tickets at (404) 733-5000, visit
www.high.org/vangogh,
or at the Woodruff Arts Center Box Office.
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I've been doing a little bit of Christmas shopping, sort of looking around to see what the merchants are betting I need to buy. Frankly, I am probably going to disappoint them. One of the things I look for is "Made in U.S.A."
It's pretty easy to understand why the value of the U.S. dollar is sinking when you see where so many of our goods are manufactured. Recently, I was speaking with a friend who is a flower importer. She was telling me that her business is decidedly "off" because what cost $1.00 last year now costs her $2.50 or more and her clients are balking at the increased prices. Buy American when you can, my friends.
* * *
Or buy British. If you have not yet discovered the London-based author
Elizabeth Buchan, you have a treat in store. I've read her
"Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman" and enjoyed it immensely. What happened to the book's heroine is not what I would recommend as a good way to flatten your forty-something stomach, but if your husband drops a brick on you one day and says he's found somebody else who is younger and cuter and moves out on you after you've given him the best 25 years of your life and your flat stomach, it is certainly a decided benefit…that, and not having to cook. My husband was puzzled at my shrieks of laughter as I was reading this novel. No point in trying to explain because the delicious revenge part, every bit of which was generated by her husband and
his wishes and nothing to do with anything she did, wouldn't have made a bit of sense to him. Be careful what you wish for!
"Revenge" is one of the most neatly crafted books I have read in a long time. It was a very satisfying read.
* * *
The autumn leaves in Atlanta are perfectly gorgeous. I cannot remember when we have had such a colorful Fall; it's been ages for sure. It's funny to hear men getting so excited about going deer hunting. I've looked at some of those whitetail deer sites on the Internet. They seem to all be sites where hunters exchange brilliant tips on how to fool deer into thinking the hunters are nowhere around, tips on how to lure deer to a certain place. I have never been a fan of blood sport in any form, so it is probably wildly ironic that all I have to do to see deer is look out my office window. I'll leave the hunters to pee in their plastic bags.
* * *
Hope you all have a wonderful Thanks by Giving, which is what that day is all about anyway. Thanks for reading. I appreciate you all, every one.
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