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Who's Your Daddy?
There has been much said and written lately about the important roles that parents play in the lives of their children. More importantly, the effect on children's lives where one or both of the parents are not an active part in their upbringing. The various things from a learning perspective, that a mother and father bring to their children is invaluable. Being a part of the male species, I can offer very little first hand information as to what the mother may bring, but I can speak a little about the father's role and the damage that is caused when fathers refuse to accept their responsibility.
Having watched kid after kid find themselves in trouble, based on criminal or delinquent acts, it has become clear that children of single parent homes are more susceptible to becoming involved in such activities. I realize that some of these children are in one-parent environments based on situations that are beyond the control of the child or the parent who remains in the home. The death of a parent, a separation, or divorce, whereby it was considered more detrimental if an abusive parent stayed in the home, and other similar situations are examples of where one parent homes cannot be avoided. However, it is imperative that the remaining parent find some supportive figure of the same sex of the parent who is absent to fill the void if possible. Whether it is a relative, friend, big brother or sister representative, or any contact that allows the child to bond is better than nothing.
But, what is the story of those dads who just made a decision, based on a variety of reasons that they think are justifiable, that they are not going to be a part of a life that they were at least 50% responsible for bringing into the world. I am talking about dead beat dads. Dads who are more married to their jobs than they are their families and quite simply any dad who is not completely dedicated to the well being of their child. In defense of some of these dads, they may not actually have planned to be a DMIA (Dad Missing In Action). In some cases the father has legitimately been removed from the formula based on short sighted spouses who use the kids as a punishment or leverage to get revenge on their ex. But, for the dad who has one sorry excuse after another and one unkempt promise after another, it is time to stand up for what is right. You cannot use the excuse that your parental omission is based on cultural reasons or the most abused excuse of all, "no one was there for me, why should I be there for my kids?" They usually carry that argument a little further by saying "no one helped me and I turned out alright."
According to whose standards? You can honestly say that you turned out all right when you accept your responsibilities, despite what happened to you as a kid.
We cannot punish our kids for those misfortunes that we suffered during our own childhood. In fact, a wise man will use those experiences as incentive to stop the cycle that leaves so many kids behind. Once we have taken the actions that will bring a child into this world, playtime is over. The closer that we can become to our kids, from the beginning, the better their chances are at becoming a success in their own rite. When we look at the great men who have lived on this earth, it is amazing how many of them have relied on the advice and leadership from their fathers to help them in their adult lives. John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, George W. Bush, and many others were quick to credit their fathers when being recognized for a particular achievement. In fairness to others, many have reached great heights without the presence of a strong father figure. But, even those when pressed, have often thought what it might have been like if their father had played a part in their lives.
On a more common sense approach, how does a man actually turn his back on a child who idolizes and adores everything that the father stands for? Nothing is more pleasing to a child than the approval of a parent. Nonetheless, every day another child is born whose only connection to their father will be some physical resemblances and bits and pieces of sketchy stories that they hear from time to time. How do they do it? The world is full of cowards and the line gets longer each day. Are you going to get in that long line or will you take the high road. "Who's your Daddy?" Make sure that if your child is ever asked that question, you are close enough to them to hear the answer. Trust me; you will love the answer and the feeling that goes along with it!
For further information, visit www.voice4victims.com
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