Grand Larson

January 9th column

Calvin Cove Sparks Reality

Herb hangs his cane on the back of the chair. "Must be winter," he says, touching his snowflake place mat.
   "Please pass the sugar," says Rose.
   "But you're sweet enough," quips John.
   "Will someone turn up the Victrola so Myrtle and I can dance?" says Henry.
   The couple waltzes while Herb and Rose sing along.
   "Meet me in St. Louis, Louis. Meet me at the fair."
   "I was Judy Garland's beau," says John. "Real good smoocher she was."
   The names aren't real, but the people are. Some of their stories aren't real, but they think they are. And at Calvin Cove, that's okay.
   When Anne Elliot's father acquired Alzheimer's disease, her former pastor, Rev. Bob Strachan, suggested she investigate the ailment.
   With her background in the legal field, research came easy. Then Anne trained for two years under Pam Rapp at Plymouth Harbor in DeKalb County. "Pam enlightened me about everything in a program like this," Anne said.
   Calvin Cove, a non-profit ministry of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Snellville celebrates its third anniversary this month. Open Monday through Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., the facility welcomes mild to moderate Alzheimer's patients, stroke victims, and people with Parkinson's disease, dementia, and brain injuries. It's a non-medical program, built strictly on love.
   "Everyone who works here is absolutely devoted to these people," Anne said of her two paid employees and seven volunteers, one of whom is her husband, Joe.
   Next to love, Anne says, structure is most essential. For the patients to be comfortable, they must experience sameness each day, but Anne does change little things like the table decor to keep them oriented with the seasons.
   When dealing with such patients, Anne says it's important never to argue with them or correct them, even if you know what they're saying is wrong or even impossible.
   "Whatever they say is their reality. It's all they have," said Anne. "They've lost their spouses, friends, and homes. Their self-esteem has been stripped away. All they have are their stories and their views, so don't take that away from them. Let them have their reality, and what self-esteem they can build with it."
   Anne says in most cases, the patient's perception of reality doesn't matter. It's much kinder to diffuse what they say than to argue and upset them. If an 85-year old lady says she played pro basketball, go along with it. If a man asks why his deceased friend Norm never visits, don't say Norm died, but that he's busy and will stop by when he can.
   "You have to get into their reality because they can't get into yours," Anne said.
   If you know someone who might enjoy the reality of Calvin Cove, you can call 770-979-9676.
   And if you visit Calvin Cove and happen to see Henry wooing his tootsie wootsie at the fair, don't tell him the lights are shining any place but there.

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