Notice Those Nice, White Teeth
 ~ by James Banzer

Largely missing in today's society is the practice of being kind to others. It seems that there is danger of civility becoming an antiquity. There's nothing wrong with being amiable toward those who disagree with you. But, a rather common feeling persists today that differing ideas mean that nothing nice should ever be said about, or to, those who don't agree.
   We live in a rude society. The attitude is not restricted to those who are at the polar extremes as far as opinions are concerned. You have no doubt
noticed the commonality among a good percentage of store clerks to take the money, hand over the goods, and fail to offer thanks. All too often, they hand
over the purchased product and say, "here you go." The words "thank you" seem absent from their vocabularies. Sometimes they even engage in conversation on the telephone with a friend while the transaction is taking place. Then, when opinions and ideas are added to the mix, attitudes often become downright hostile.
   Nowhere is such uncouth behavior more apparent than in the political world, where negativity and snide remarks have become commonplace. Two giants in
American politics proved a few years back that it doesn't have to be that way. These two political archrivals gained notice simply by being warm and
respectable to each other on a regular basis. The two were Republican Ronald Reagan and Democrat Thomas "Tip" O'Neill. These two guys were diametrically
opposed on political matters. By golly, that didn't stop them from being good friends.
   The two would regularly meet at the White House just for friendly visits during the evening hours. At the end of a long hard day during which the president had
been pushing his legislative agenda, the U.S. House speaker would drop by for friendly chit-chat, taking time away from their political differences. They both
recognized that you don't always have to agree to be friends, or even good buddies. Chris Matthews, who worked for O'Neill at the time, quoted Reagan as
saying, "The speaker says that here in Washington we're all friends after six o'clock."
   It's not necessary to look at politics to see that too many people are lacking this kind of gentility today. Politicians are simply a reflection of society as a
whole. It's a certainty that if we were all kinder to one another, Washington politicos would change.
   Grandma Banzer had a favorite expression which applies here. "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all," she would say. Dad told
about how she was asked one time about one of the most despicable criminal characters in their home area of northern Texas. She replied, "He has nice, white
teeth."
   She was perhaps polite to extremes, but there is a lesson to be learned in her attitude. We would all be a lot better off if we refused to think of all with whom we disagree as archenemies. We all share this limited space of the universe. Others, even those with whom we disagree, deserve their bit of respect. That's what civility is all about.
   Being kind isn't always easy. It takes practice and a change of attitude. It doesn't require that you refrain from speaking your mind when you disagree. It
does mean that you have at least a modicum of respect for the other fellow. When you try it, the other person may just come around to understanding your
point of view. If they don't, at least you've done the right thing. Your enemies then may even become your friends.

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James Banzer has enjoyed a long career in broadcast news and is now writing on his observations about the world around us. He is currently residing in Louisville, Kentucky. You may send an e-mail to him at  jamesbanzer@yahoo.com .