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"Where Did They Learn That From"?
Have you ever said or done something, that you probably should not have said or done, and then realized that your or someone else's kids also heard you say or saw you do it? The fact that you said or did it was bad enough, but the fact that they heard or saw it made it even worse. As we all know, children do not miss much. Even when we think that we are talking beyond their earshot, we are often reminded at a later date that they heard every word. Those parents who are aware of this concept realize the potential danger that it may cause and will take steps to prevent an embarrassing situation from occurring when their kids repeat their quote at the wrong place and the wrong time.
There are also those parents who may say or do something, that they definitely should not have, and could care less who heard or saw them whether it be their children, your children, or anybody else who just might be passing by. Those people are the parents of the kids who also verbalize such lovely things as racial slurs, profanity, the fact that their parents fight with each other, and all of the other social nuances that we see on Jerry Springer more often than we care to admit.
Even though we know that the minds of children are literally a sponge during the early years, some of us have no qualms with the purity of the water that is absorbed. Study after study has warned us that basic biases and prejudices, attitudes toward the opposite sex, attitudes about violence, the acceptance of alcohol and/or drug lifestyles, religion, and everything else that society has to offer are all spawned from those behaviors that children observe from their adult influences. This is an awesome responsibility that we, as adults and parents, must shoulder to ensure that our children are not close-minded to things simply based on their elder's point of view. It is important that we expose our children to all sides of the equation, including those that we may not agree with, in order for them to have a better understanding of which way their moral compass may lead them as they become adults.
This theory recently hit close to home while I was having lunch in a local restaurant.
I was sitting in an area that also included a police officer having lunch. At another table were a mother and a boy who was obviously having a bad day. After no luck with her usual methods of discipline, which is another story all together, she told the boy that if he did not straighten up she was going to have the police officer come and lock him up. Did the boy quiet down? Immediately! Did this incident perhaps change the way that this little boy will look at police officers in the future? Definitely! Law enforcement has worked hard, in the school systems, to portray a position of authority, but also one that children should not be afraid of and in fact should trust. She tore down in 10 seconds what we have tried to build up for many years.
All of us do and say things that we probably should not. We cannot afford to exhibit this activity, even if it makes us feel better at the time, when children are near. Every little word or comment that is of a negative or destructive nature becomes the early building blocks for what will eventually become a child's vocabulary and social attitude. Let's at least give them a chance to develop their own attitudes and opinions, rather than skewing their ideas at very young ages, through the actions of their adult influences. The flip side to this is that those comments and actions that are of a positive nature can also be used to develop a child's moral and judgment abilities. It is up to all of us to see that this is done. Remember that the next time you are fighting with your spouse, using the "n" word, the "f" word and other colorful terms, drinking and driving, smoking like a chimney, making disparaging remarks about the opposite sex, or simply watching WWF's "Smackdown." You are the adult and/or parent and you have every right to do what you will, as long as it is legal. However, you should not be allowed to act surprised when some of these character builders, that you have instilled, begin to show their ugly little heads. I can already hear you asking, "Just where did they learn that from?" You may wonder, but to the rest of us it is very clear.
For further information, visit www.voice4victims.com
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